Law school students dread the inevitable long hours at the office of their chosen profession, studying laws and their complimentary loop holes. Between the late nights and lunch dates, attorneys have infamously busy schedules. Dating an attorney means accepting that he will be in touch when he has a second to spare – and no sooner. And when he does tag you to become part of his busy lifestyle, he expects total compliance without badgering.

 An attorney may have a devoted spouse and a family, but uses his busy schedule as a way to have a fling on the side. So, when you are caught in public together, plead the Fifth, and let the lawyer do all the talking. He is good at presenting the facts, but also practiced in using logic to lie. Most of the time, malicious rumors and hearsay will be pardoned by a jury of your peers due to the skills of a seasoned attorney. 

 Of course, establishing a relationship with an attorney promises ample mental stimulation. Attorneys have gone through extensive education, internships and training in order to perform their jobs up to par. A lawyer’s companion must be versed in news, politics, and legal theory in order to keep up with the witty repartee that will be thrown across the dinner table. Keeping up with the news ensures the ability to keep an attorney’s interest. But, even if you can’t watch the ticker on CNN all day, you can still feed an attorney’s ego by asking questions and allowing yourself to become intrigued by what he has to say. Because of their high-stakes occupations, attorneys are groomed to be cocky; this is at once attractive and challenging to his companion because egos are easily bruised. Keep your sass at bay and your wide-eyed admiration will promise his continued interest in you. And it is important to keep an attorney interested because his livelihood guarantees a large paycheck – and dating him means reaping the benefits of these funds.  

 Dating an attorney with a busy lifestyle also means that when you ask the court to please rise, it does so quickly. Intimate stress relief and fun is as urgent as the telephone calls and emails a lawyer must make on his Blackberry every day. So, when the lights go out, court is in session. And while the law gives everybody the right to habeas corpus, be prepared to lose sovereignty over your body in the bedroom while no objections are made to excited utterances and motions are sustained until the case is closed.